catching up

I always thought that being busy was a white lie that your significant other said to you when didn’ t want to talk to you…and then several “I’m busy” were covering a big fat lie, like cheating for example. But now, I’m busy, so busy that I’ve caught myself into lots of paperwork and nothing of free time other than what should be given to sleep and I’ve only checked online stuff briefly because I don’t have much time to update and worse, I’m slipping at work, which is worrying me, probably because I’m really insecure, thefore, I’m feeling like shit. But nothing makes me more shitty than the fact that someone could tell me “I’m busy” for 5 years and it turned out not to be true…in part.

I wonder how people can really handle and carry themselves. I can’t. Probably is the awful vibe I’m having at the moment. I’m still fighting to be re-located in my office and trying to leave early enough to don’t be that early and not so late to be stuck in traffic. And now I’m catching up with work and blog. Facing my emotional defeat. All this is giving me more negativity that I don’t need but I know that thing will never be in my terms but I will have to surrender to all the use and abuse of my insecure mind…because I come back home but I can’t be on my own either. 

Plus, I’m sick and hungry: I want to go home. but I’m stuck in my office…I want to cry.

I’ve been watching movies. A couple of days ago I had a little free time to be home alone and I saw a movie, “Dedication“, first movie directed by actor Justin Theroux, with Billy Crudup, Mandy Moore and Tom Wilkinson.  I wanted to see it for ages and I liked it even if it seemed to be underwritten at some point but had some interesting parts.  It was cute.  I was watching “Juno” last night.  It’s funny, a bit weird too.  I can’t wait to finish it as soon as I can come back home.  Movies…that’s something I really need to catch up with.

Speaking of my emotional defeat, last week I bought something known as Singelringen, a ring for singles.  I was hesitant at first because it’s a bit expensive (I got it for $48 while it was being introduced but I believe it’s $56) but considering that people make fun of me because I’m single at my age when almost everybody else I know is married with kids and I would be married by now if my ex wasn’t that busy, if you have read this far, you know what I’m talking about. Anyway, I have this ring that says I’m proud to be a young spinster unmarried person and I don’t care what you think about it.  

I need to go home right now.

I must be dreaming…

If the day has 24 hours and I get to sleep 6 hours, one hour for getting ready&breakfast and 2 hours and a half wasted in the bus (I sleep in that half hour) and 1 hour for lunch, we have 9 that I’m not online. Of course that at work of the 8 hours of work, I’m online an avergae of 5-6 hours because I have to do research.

OK. Enough about counting wasted hours of my life and back to what I was about to write today and didn’t because I was reminded that I had to work. Don’t you just love when a favorite actor has a role in a movie that looks that can do good for his/her career? I heard of Public Enemies, movie directed by Michael Mann, on the day the Academy Awards were held and while reading the cast attached to it, Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, Giovanni Ribisi and Marion Cotillard, without knowing the plot, I immediately thought that Billy Crudup should’ve been there. And last night before bedtime, I checked some movie news and oh surprise, he just joined the cast.

Now, if anything I wish could come true just like that…

To something completely unrelated yeat something I love. I listen to Swedish musicians of different genres since the later days of ABBA and I know many share this fascination, not exactly since ABBA but probably later, no doubt CNN once said that Sweden was the 3rd largest exporter of music in the world.

One genre that is left for me to discover (as I’m not familiar with it and maybe I wasn’t made to like it) is jazz. Yet, I know that the Scandinavians in general do it well and that’s the only bit of jazz that I (unfortunately) listen to.  While doing my music research homework (searching for some albums to download) I came across Fredrika Stahl’s A Fraction of You, I was listening to it on the way to work and it was a lovely mix of pop-jazz which reminded me of Silje Nergaard.  If you like female singers and pop jazz, you can start checking out these two or also last.fm and the compilations Jazzflora:Scandinavian Aspects of Jazz and Nordic Lounge.

Oh, it’s getting late anyway.

Is it less…actually more?

I remember I had an online buddy who once complained of my penchant for creating as many journal/blog accounts as possible because she couldn’t keep up with all my updates. Ironically she has created & deleted so many accounts that I don’t know how can I find her new ones…oh yeah my best friend google.  As far as I’m concerned, that’s good because if you create something…it means you want to start over again and if you delete it, well…you want to start all over again.

I created a twitter and a tumblr.  I can update twitter whenever I want, preferably in the bathroom or when I wake up.  I don’t even have to turn the computer on for that, considering that I don’t tend to update about everything that’s going on in my life as it’s happening, twitter is quickly becoming into my new best friend…after google of course.  I do believe that microblogging can be addictive but it’s better than flood your personal journal with one sentence which is usually full of shit and nonsense…I mean it’s someone from you to you.

Tumblr is a good service to share some of my love for music.  Although I’m not the real music love who is into indie and such, I have my tumblr to update it with  youtube videos, song quotes and my horoscope for the day.  I can’t leave home without watching the horoscope on tv and wear the color they say, unless it’s white or brown, most of the time I pick something of the recommended color.

Let’s see how it all turns out.  I have myspace, facebook and deviantart and I rarely update a blog there.