I always thought that being busy was a white lie that your significant other said to you when didn’ t want to talk to you…and then several “I’m busy” were covering a big fat lie, like cheating for example. But now, I’m busy, so busy that I’ve caught myself into lots of paperwork and nothing of free time other than what should be given to sleep and I’ve only checked online stuff briefly because I don’t have much time to update and worse, I’m slipping at work, which is worrying me, probably because I’m really insecure, thefore, I’m feeling like shit. But nothing makes me more shitty than the fact that someone could tell me “I’m busy” for 5 years and it turned out not to be true…in part.
I wonder how people can really handle and carry themselves. I can’t. Probably is the awful vibe I’m having at the moment. I’m still fighting to be re-located in my office and trying to leave early enough to don’t be that early and not so late to be stuck in traffic. And now I’m catching up with work and blog. Facing my emotional defeat. All this is giving me more negativity that I don’t need but I know that thing will never be in my terms but I will have to surrender to all the use and abuse of my insecure mind…because I come back home but I can’t be on my own either.
Plus, I’m sick and hungry: I want to go home. but I’m stuck in my office…I want to cry.
I’ve been watching movies. A couple of days ago I had a little free time to be home alone and I saw a movie, “Dedication“, first movie directed by actor Justin Theroux, with Billy Crudup, Mandy Moore and Tom Wilkinson. I wanted to see it for ages and I liked it even if it seemed to be underwritten at some point but had some interesting parts. It was cute. I was watching “Juno” last night. It’s funny, a bit weird too. I can’t wait to finish it as soon as I can come back home. Movies…that’s something I really need to catch up with.
Speaking of my emotional defeat, last week I bought something known as Singelringen, a ring for singles. I was hesitant at first because it’s a bit expensive (I got it for $48 while it was being introduced but I believe it’s $56) but considering that people make fun of me because I’m single at my age when almost everybody else I know is married with kids and I would be married by now if my ex wasn’t that busy, if you have read this far, you know what I’m talking about. Anyway, I have this ring that says I’m proud to be a young spinster unmarried person and I don’t care what you think about it.
I need to go home right now.
